Itsumo Always
by feathergurl
Summary: As the snow falls down, I see your huddled form in the dark 'He made me cry' you say. Blood red. The color of your eyes, The color of your bleeding soul'


~Itsumo/Always~  
  
Naruto sighed as he looked out into the night sky. They had finally passed the chuunin exam and Orochimaru had been defeated....but Sasuke...he had been acting odd ever since. The Uchiha's behavior had become even more austere then before and the boy had taken extra care to avoid him at all costs. And Naruto...Naruto... was hurt.  
  
'Perhaps it was just my imagination that caused me to believe we finally had formed a strong friendship....'  
  
~As the mist fades away and the tear drops gather  
  
I see your face in my memories and suddenly,  
  
I remember all the fights we had, all the sweet times we had~  
  
Secretly he wished for something more .... Naruto wanted so bad to act upon his feelings, and yet his soul cried out- warning him that it would only bring him pain.  
  
'Dam you Sasuke!! If only I didn't feel this way.... What the Kyuubi said is right. Human emotions are so flawed-so weak!'  
  
Then why was it that you were able to meld with the Kyuubi when you saw what Haku had done to him? A part of his mind whispered.  
  
Naruto clamped his eyes shut as the memories flashed before his eyes, the answer to what he already knew.  
  
Soulful dark eyes.  
  
Pale skin, shining brightly in the moonlight.  
  
Red eyes.  
  
A smirk  
  
'Don't you die....'  
  
'I am an avenger....nothing more'  
  
'Dobe'  
  
'Dead last'  
  
'Idiot!'  
  
'You okay scaredy cat?'  
  
Naruto shook as the memories bombarded him. Sasuke Uchiha- yes he was the one who caused this multitude of emotions to swirl throughout his entire being! Sorrow, grief, anger, uncertainty... They afflicted within him, tearing and biting into his soul.  
  
'Sasuke...why...did you have to run....to leave us all behind? You think we all hate you for going with him....but I don't...I can't....even though you betrayed me. I–I still love you.'  
  
~We're a pair, you and I~  
  
Naruto shakily got up from the floor and looked around his apartment. It was cold and lacking the warmth that a home should have......  
  
"I won't let you go home until you've cleaned it all off."  
  
Naruto looked up at Iruka with blank face.  
  
"It's not like I have anyone to go home to!" Naruto muttered.  
  
I.....have no one......  
  
Naruto desperately ran out of his house and towards the hokage monument, the falling rain was harsh and cold against his skin, but at that moment he didn't care. So far gone was he that Naruto didn't notice when black figure began to follow him as he fled.  
  
~The lush green rice fields are now bathed in a sorrowful sheen  
  
The moonlight overflowing, like my tears  
  
I turn to your memory, seeking comfort~  
  
"It's been awhile since I've done this Yondaime.....forgive me, I've been neglecting you. I suppose you wouldn't mind if I bored you with my feelings and thoughts once more neh? It's the least you could do, after all....you are the one that sealed the demon inside of me....." Naruto finished.  
  
"You know.... I really don't think I've ever been one for thinking things through.....but with Sasuke it seems to come easier......Kakashi he really loved you, I can tell just by the way he speaks about you. I wonder sometimes if Sasuke would think just as fondly of me if I were to die. Probably not- after all I'm only a stupid demon...."  
  
"When he left....I felt betrayed and angered-like I wanted to kill him for putting me through all that pain. It's silly how he's able to do more damage to me then villagers can....but then love is a hurtful thing isn't it?"  
  
Naruto absentmindedly wiped away his bangs, which had become stuck to his forehead due to the constant stream of water rolling down his face, the product of the storm.  
  
"There were nights when I would hide myself under all the blankets I had, just to give myself a false sense of security......to make it seem as if I was safe and loved... those were the most turbulent weeks of my life. Wondering where he was, fearing that I would have to face him and kill him for betraying our village."  
  
Naruto chuckled bitterly.  
  
"He says that I'm the stupid one, but then he just doesn't understand that Kakashi, sakura, and myself.....we don't hate him. Even though he betrayed us- betrayed me I still love him......"  
  
The dark figure drew closer and its eyes flashed with surprise.  
  
~The things left unsaid, as you set off to seek yourself  
  
I wondered what had happened between you and I  
  
What caused this change?~  
  
"Ever since he's returned.....he's been distant and it hurts. It hurts so much. I want to tell him how I feel and never let him go....I want to erase all his pain and make him smile. A true smile and I want him to smile only for me. Call me selfish, but I've never wanted something so bad....."  
  
Naruto smiled up at the 4th hokage, his eyes sad and distant.  
  
"I've been denied love all my life, so what makes me think that he would be any different?" Naruto whispered.  
  
"What indeed." A soft voice asked. Naruto spun around surprise and fear etched on his face.  
  
~You're haunted,  
  
I can see it in your eyes  
  
Memories of a time long gone, tearing at your soul  
  
Slowly breaking you apart~  
  
"How much did you hear?!!" Naruto demanded.  
  
"Enough." The figure said as the hood covering his face was pulled back.  
  
"S-sasuke?!" Naruto stammered.  
  
The Uchiha's eyes were glinting under the light of the nearby lamp and Naruto on instinct took a step back.  
  
"Why do you lie dobe?" the heir asked.  
  
Naruto's eyes widened and the boy blushed.  
  
'He heard.....my feelings.....'  
  
Unable to look at Sasuke, Naruto looked away and wrapped his arms around himself as if to give himself added comfort and warmth.  
  
"I wasn't lying....."  
  
Silence enveloped the area and Naruto shuddered at his stupidity.  
  
'What was I expecting? Him to pin me down to the ground? For him to whisper in my ear how much he loved me? How much he wanted to be with me?'  
  
"Listen; just forget you ever heard what I said. I'm sorry if I've offended you and I won't be mad if you decide to forever curse my existence." Naruto said as he turned to walk away.  
  
"Why do you not hate me? After all that I've done? After all that I've put you through?"  
  
Naruto stopped in his steps, hesitantly turning around to see Sasuke looking at him with blank eyes.  
  
"I suppose it's because we are alike.....because I know how it feels to be so desperate that you are willing to do anything for strength, even betray those that care for you....also I can't hate you...... because my heart has betrayed me, I know I should hate you....but I don't...."  
  
~Chained to your past, and unable to let go  
  
I strain to give you light  
  
You push me away and at times hurt me more than words can express~  
  
"Then you are a fool-" Sasuke spat out and Naruto winced, "to think that I willingly betrayed you."  
  
Wait. What?!....he didn't scorn me for my feelings...does that mean...?!  
  
~But still- we're a pair you and I~  
  
"Orochimaru's bite, if forced to be put into a category could be labeled as a mind control jutsu. It made my mind become filled with hate, my thoughts focused only on inflicting pain on Orochimaru's enemies. I was his pawn and was forced to watch as I killed innocents."  
  
Sasuke's voice became bitter.  
  
"I did not seclude myself from you and the rest of the town because I was afraid that you would hate me, I knew that it was unavoidable. No, I separated myself from you because I hated myself for what I'd done." Sasuke's eyes locked with Naruto's and the boy was momentarily stunned by the amount of emotion shown in their depths.  
  
"The fact that I had been powerless, unable to do anything as I betrayed you and the rest of my comrades.....I came to the conclusion that I was just as weak as I had been in the beginning.... when I had sworn to kill him......when I swore that I would become stronger then you...." Sasuke let loose a harsh, mocking, laugh.  
  
"I'd wondered for a long time how you would always catch up to me and get one step ahead of me before I'd catch up and leave you behind in the dust once more......now..... I've realized that it was your ability to love those around you and put all that you had on the line just for them...and I.....I was too far detached....so unable to love.....I'm alone, and that's the way it's supposed to be.....I am an avenger nothing more."  
  
~As the snow falls down, I see your huddled form in the dark  
  
'He made me cry' you say  
  
  
  
Blood red  
  
The color of your eyes  
  
The color of your bleeding soul~  
  
"YOU'RE WRONG!" Naruto yelled. Sasuke flinched at the tone and Naruto stalked up to the other grabbing the black haired boy by his shoulders.  
  
"You're not alone! You have Sakura-chan, Kakashi-sensei, and ME! You aren't incapable of love Sasuke! If you'd just open your eyes you'd see that it is love that makes a man truly strong! To have empathy and love is to have true strength of heart!" Naruto yelled. Sasuke looked away.  
  
"Dobe, what do you know about love? No one loves you-" Sasuke's eyes widened as the words came from his mouth. Naruto lowered his head, his hair falling over his eyes.  
  
"You're right Sasuke; no one loves me, well maybe except for Iruka-sensei. But I do know what love is......."  
  
"Naruto....gomen ...I didn't mean that. It's not true.........I..."  
  
Sasuke trailed off an unsure look in his eyes. Naruto looked up at him, tears clouding his vision.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
~You look at me, staring into my eyes  
  
Unearthing my heart~  
  
Sasuke looked at Naruto for a long time as if trying to decide something.  
  
"What I am about to do and what I am about to tell you......I ask that no matter what happens you will not hate me."  
  
Naruto bit his lip before he shakily nodded.  
  
"I promise I won't hate you ....."  
  
Sasuke let loose a shuddering sigh before he closed his eyes and opened them back up- this time to show the specks of the customary sharingan red amongst his normally black eyes.  
  
"Sasuke?! What-"  
  
"Orochimaru's bite did more then just control my mind- it accelerated my development with the sharingan. My eyes will look like this until the sharingan is finally developed." Sasuke said in a quiet voice.  
  
It suddenly dawned on Naruto what was wrong with Sasuke.  
  
"You're ashamed that he was the one to get you this far....am I right?"  
  
"You are......." Sasuke said. He eyes were cold, and blank.... Sasuke's eyes had once again lost the spark of emotion which had shined in them only moments before.  
  
"Dobe-"  
  
"DON'T CALL ME THAT!! I....I just don't understand you.....one moment we are talking like- like-," Sasuke promptly cut him off.  
  
"Like equals? Friends? Lovers?" Sasuke whispered his eyes slowly focusing their attention on Naruto. The younger boy blushed at Sasuke's choice of words.  
  
"S-sasuke, why- I- I JUST......you know what?" Naruto ended up asking.  
  
"Screw this. I'm not going to waste any more time arguing with you......I try and offer you someone to talk to and you just shun me!!! I'm sick of getting hurt by you and everyone in this stupid village!" Naruto spat.  
  
The young man began running but got no more then three feet before he was grabbed firmly by his arms and spun around. The words Naruto was planning on yelling at Sasuke vanished from his mind as a pair of lips fiercely captured his own.  
  
For the second time in Naruto's life, he was kissing Uchiha Sasuke.  
  
Sasuke roughly pulled him to his chest and his pale hands gripped him as if he was the only thing keeping him afloat. The embrace....it almost seemed.....desperate. Naruto gasped in surprise at the revelation and was almost glad to be freed from those sensual lips as the two separated for breath. Almost.  
  
"W-why?"  
  
Sasuke's eyes locked with his own and Naruto was shocked to see tears gathering in the now full sharingan.  
  
"I'm sorry I-"  
  
"Shhhh it's okay Sasuke. Just tell me what's wrong.....I want to help you." Naruto said in a soothing tone.  
  
"I shouldn't have done that, I.....it's just that- you overwhelm me."  
  
Naruto was absolutely confused.  
  
".....I......." Naruto breathed.  
  
"Never mind dobe, I don't know what I was thinking. It was a mistake-"  
  
"MISTAKE MY ASS! I KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN AN ACCIDENTAL KISS AND A CONSENSUAL ONE!"  
  
Naruto's chest heaved from the exertion of his yelling and the emotions that raced throughout his body.  
  
In two steps Naruto yanked Sasuke forward and meshed their lips roughly together.  
  
'Don't hide away from me anymore.'  
  
'Don't make me feel this pain.'  
  
~I take my hands in yours as the snow falls around us  
  
My soul cries out for you  
  
Why do you hide in these walls you've constructed?~  
  
Sasuke's eyes flashed a brilliant red at the blatant display of dominance. Naruto soon found himself pinned against the floor- face only centimeters from Sasuke's, their breath intermingling.  
  
"You should never play with fire....you'll only get burned." Sasuke said in Naruto's ear before flicking the tip of the blonde's ear with his tongue.  
  
Naruto let out a shuddering gasp at the move.  
  
~Tears trickle down your beautiful face  
  
You wonder why I care, why I keep coming back even after  
  
All the pain, all the animosity~  
  
"Why?" Naruto asked in a breathless voice.  
  
"Because you idiot, I've wanted you for the longest time." Sasuke slowly nibbled Naruto's throat occasionally licking and suckling.  
  
"A- AH! S-sasuke. Stop!!!" Naruto yelled. Sasuke paused in his ministrations to look up at Naruto.  
  
"If that's all I am to you, then you can just leave me the fuck alone! I won't be used as a quick and easy fuck!" Naruto growled, his complete attitude unintentionally turning Sasuke on.  
  
Sasuke smirked and simply went back to feasting on Naruto's neck.  
  
"Tsk Tsk. Dobe, You should know that when I play for keeps, I-never- let my prize go. This is hardly going to be a quick fuck- you're stuck with me I'm afraid. An Uchiha only picks one partner in their entire lifetime- that is unless their partner dies, then....the council decides for them." Sasuke said with a smirk.  
  
"I don't plan on letting you die though."  
  
Naruto's mouth gaped open.  
  
Oh.  
  
My.  
  
God.  
  
He....he......just...  
  
"Does that mean....you.....love me?" Naruto whispered. Sasuke stopped for a second time that night and just gazed at Naruto for what seemed like hours.  
  
"What I feel for you can not possibly be put into words but if forced to describe it, I would say that, yes I do." Sasuke said in a soft voice his eyes suddenly becoming black and loosing the red that illuminated his eyes in the dark of the night.  
  
~Slowly I cradle your head with my hands and softly, flutteringly  
  
Brush my lips against yours~  
  
"If you choose me, you won't be able to restore your clan."  
  
There was a deep silence between the two, and the steady beat of rain continued to pour down around their bodies.  
  
"I know.....but.....I am willing to be with you even if it means that my clan will never survive." Sasuke said in a whisper.  
  
Naruto's eyes began to burn with the familiar feeling of tears. He pulled Sasuke forward and softly kissed the man, hugging him tightly to his chest.  
  
"Sasuke no baka....... "  
  
'So this is what it feels like to be loved......arigato Yondaime.......for everything.....'  
  
~Find yourself so can come back to me.  
  
I will cry for you since you cannot.  
  
And as the sun sets and the moon rises,  
  
Our separated souls will dance in harmony  
  
Among the stars and in my dreams I will love you  
  
For we're a pair you and I.  
  
Always.  
  
Forever.~  
  
From his seat above Konohagakure, Yondaime smiled down at the pair.  
  
"You've done it Naruto, you've done it."  
  
He knew that in the future Naruto and Sasuke would face many trials. Though the journey would not always be easy, they would make it together.... and... Naruto....... well..... Only time could tell what would happen to him.  
  
Yondaime had a pretty good idea though.  
  
'I salute you- Rokudaime.'  
  
OWARI~ END  
  
AN: *crickets chirp* -_-;;;; minna-san this was my first Naruto fic, so I understand if only a few of you stayed to actually read the ending and this note( I know I'm a sucky writer)..... Though I have to say I'm really happy with how this came out. A few of you were probably wondering on the actual- 'position' of Naruto and Sasuke's relationship.  
  
I'll explain a few things. Even before their encounter in the rain, Sasuke's and Naruto's feelings had already begun to develop- throughout the series, though mainly during the battle in wave country. Sasuke was willing to sacrifice himself to save Naruto and even though he says he doesn't know why his body reacted as such- I believe that subconsciously, he knew the reason.  
  
You'll find that Naruto and Sasuke constantly bicker in the series and Sasuke takes even more time to talk with Naruto then any other character in the book, unless of course during a serious situation. I've wondered how well the two characters would act when they sat down and actually had a serious conversation, Naruto getting beyond his childish habits and Sasuke coming out of his cold act.  
  
This is my result and I hope you enjoyed reading it as much and I did writing it!  
  
Morgan gray a.k.a Feathergurl march 8- 2004 


End file.
